The time has finally come to ORD, and I have long awaited for this moment, which feels surreal. I have always wanted to pen down my reflections of my whole experience and document my learnings over the 2 years. I am actually grateful for my entire pathway in NS - from a xiong BMT coy to gaining entry to the most welfare OCS training wing to a vocation of my choice and finally an appointment that I'm most suited for (and of course being the reserve). To me this is the best I can get because I was able to meet many wonderful people in service and pro term, use some brain in my vocation, do a lot a lot of PT with my battery everyday, and I did not have to fight ATEC. Although I did not get to stay out like some other officers or have a very fun culture in my unit, I still feel my perspective allow me to appreciate my journey more and I definitely had no regrets going through what I have been through.
Invaluable friendships
The best takeaway from NS is definitely the people I met who positively influenced my thoughts and actions towards a better direction. There were solid leaders I could learn leadership skills from.
One of the most respectable guy I met is actually Moses who was a president scholar and came back to complete OCS after his masters. His EQ, wisdom and maturity really gave me a lot of perspectives and insights into handling things in life. A truly genuine person who will go very far in life. Fun fact I'm going to his wedding next month haha.
Then there are many others too who introduced to me entrepreneurship and investing, and got me interested into pursuing them. I am actually blessed to have such people like Richmond, Linus, Kar Aik, Shawn and a few others who inspired me to a clearer direction in life. Initially I was actually quite lost after commissioning, and I really wanted to do something meaningful. Conversations with such people naturally would draw me into similar things. I first started out reading self help books and along the way my focus changed, from personal development to investing to workout and nutrition to crypto and finally to entrepreneurship. These 6 months allowed me to discover myself more and explore many things. Richmond's drive and hustle during his adversities clearly inspired me to dream bigger and pursue similar things, and I truly respect how he rose from his circumstances. Linus who always annoy me in the past is also a close bro I made; as well as Kar Aik whom I got closer to towards the end after discovering similar interests and mindsets.
Of course there were fun friends like Haesan who stays near me and always give me a lift, and Boo Zon my favourite gym buddy, and we 3 along with Richmond are going to NUS Business together (yay).
Discovering meaning
It is no doubt NS has given me a wonderful opportunity to discovering my purpose and meaning in life. Being put into a working environment before entering uni gave me a greater clarity as to what I want to pursue in life. We were able to change our courses 3 times before entering uni, unlike the girls who just had to pursue what they feel they would like to do in the future as a career, where most were not very clear on what they actually want to really pursue in the future.
NS has taught me that working with people in the office is not easy, together with the politics, and further reaffirms my desire to not work for anyone who has a 'control' of my life in the future. These 2 'gap years' allowed me to try explore different interests with no repercussions. After working hours the time is entirely mine and I could do whatever I want unlike school where you have to be concerned with your homework. Like the corporate working life, this is essentially similar where if you dread work and always look forward to after-office hours and weekends, you will essentially be finding ways to relax and have fun, or to relieve stress.
We were able to experience receiving monthly pay checks and handling our own finances. Like most of the working population, I spent my money on 'good food' after work and on entertainment over the weekends. Drinking or clubbing became close to a weekly affair since OCS days. I then realised that money should not be spent this way and in the future if I act this way, I would just be like any other adult stuck in the rat race trying to pay off debts for my whole life. I would be living life aimlessly. And thus, it got me into pursing financial knowledge, reading books like Rich Dad Poor Dad (a highly recommended 1st book to read) and Fastlane to Millionaire which gave me hugely different perspectives towards life. Schools actually never taught us how to handle our money, but only work for money, when in our entire life we are actually handling money. That, to me, is super scary. It made me yearn for knowledge of making money work for me instead.
Hence, nearing to my ORD, I gained enlightenment on what I wanted to pursue in life, after attending a course and speaking to an interviewer. I knew I wanted financial freedom - to freely do whatever I want, like travelling, reading, talking to people, writing, working out, photography, making videos, Ultimate Frisbee, helping people etc - which essentially means I have to remove money from the equation in my life as early as possible so money will no longer be a restricting or worrying factor for me. In essence, I want to be able to do what I am passionate about, and whatever work that is won't then be 'work' to me.
“You'll never achieve real success unless you like what you're doing.”
Discovering my weaknesses
I knew I had many weaknesses to work on. And I was actually thankful that I got to be the Cadet Course Commander (albeit too long, for like 3 months+ -.-) to learn about my greatest flaws in leading people as well as communication skills. I had no guidance as to what is the right way to lead, and I had to reflect and discover myself what would work better and what don't.
As a commissioned officer, shit got real. Gone were days where mistakes were just mistakes to be scolded for. One mistake and you sign 7 extra duties minimally, no matter how 'small' it is. Yes donning the black bar grants you more privilege and authority, but that comes heavy responsibilities too. In the unit life, it is not like BMT where the black bars are the gods. Respect is not granted but earned. There politics you have to deal with too. Being a 1 bar NSF officer can be the worst, as you have to manage and give in to the sergeants and man under you, but also deal with the expectations and management of the regulars. It is a struggle to make ends meet, with both ends having different expectations. In the eyes of NSFs, 'we are just NSFs'. To the regulars, 'we are just NSFs' too. Both which we are not taught so in training school.
I had problems working with people under me initially, as my way of doing things were deemed too authoritative and lacking empathy. It was inherent in me that I tend to be that way, and being handicapped by slow learning ability made things worst. I was determined to improve myself and the relationships around me. I began with reading the book "How to win friends and influence people", which was mind-blowing. I learned so much about dealing with people, and realised how I have always been doing wrong the whole time. I would say my efforts paid off in the end as things improved. I have truly learnt that respect is not commanded but earned. People-management, communication and interpersonal skills are definitely one of the key takeaways in NS.
There were also times of moral and ethical dilemma, where the lines between doing what is right and what is popular gets blurred. It was so was easy to do the wrong things in NS when many are doing it too, where such are condoned but still being done, as long as 'don't get caught'. It definitely was challenging, and it all boils down to being grounded by your principles and accepting whatever ramifications after based on the decisions you make.
There was a period where I was nearly destroyed. I was devastated. I felt unjust in the punishments meted out. I was one of the most down period in my NS. I felt incompetent, and lousy. I did not know what did I do to deserve that. It made me learn to accept these as challenges in life. In your work life, you also wouldn't be able to choose who you work with or work for. Facing with such in NS made me appreciate the opportunity to deal with this earlier and hence become stronger. I learnt that little mistakes can be 'costly', and that sometimes you just have to suck it up. With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from going; you get to choose. Thus, I was actually grateful that I got punished. Because I was pushed out of my comfort zone. I grew. I learnt to be optimistic in trying times. Making such mistakes now would only lead to punishments right? But in the outside world, I would probably 'get fired' (I quote someone), right? I learnt how to talk to superiors and subordinates. I became more confident. These episodes have taught me to practise empathy and gratitude (inspired by Gary V), and I have been a happier person since.
“It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”
Sign on?
As much as army pays very well with full scholarships provided, giving you a very financially secure life in the future whilst 'not having to do much', I still would not sign on. My brother was initially close to signing on in the end cancelled his contract, which I only could understand why after having went through NS.
I feel that army would not be a suitable environment for me to shine and reach my full potential, and it is just not for me. I truly admire those who are passionate in what they do, but it is not that often seen in the army. As much as people who are not passionate in their jobs and are in it just for the money are also present in the corporate world, these people are usually not bounded by contract and can be fired anytime, hence having their livelihood at greater stake. I believe I would do and grow better outside in an environment where they encourage creativity instead of stifling it, and are more forgiving and understanding rather than rigidly imposing and authoritatively demanding. I do understand the rationale of the way the army do things, like having to rule by fear and punishments in order to get people to obey orders; because in time of war, there people under command should obey and fight together as one regardless of how good or bad the decision made was perceived as.
I firmly believed that learning is in the doing, and it is only from mistakes and failures do we actually learn and grow. However at times punishments will in turn stunt the growth and creativity of people out of fear. Being a slow learner would inevitably mean I would make many mistakes at the start, and to prevent that I would need proper guidance, which more often that not, is not given. Punishment is always the easiest option in correcting things but I feel its the worst way to go about doing things without mutual empathy and reasonable understanding. Hence I do not believe in punishing someone for their mistakes, and instead we should seek to understand and offer encouragements for the betterment of the individual. An exception would be that after numerous times of trying, it might be too tiring to even bother offering so much empathy, and hence a punishment would warrant a correction of attitude. This however would still not solve the root problem.
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
One of my greatest pet peeves is inefficiency, and it is a well known fact that army can be inefficient. This is due to having to obey the chain of command and for various safety and security reasons to prevent mishaps - which is understandable. Rank triumphs intelligence in any army and thus as long as you have a lower rank, you have to give in and listen to the higher ups, and work with people of all sorts of competence. Hence I would not be able to stand the working environment of such, personally, in my opinion.
All in all
It all comes down to you on how much you want to make out of the 2 years. Personally I believe everyone should just take a shot and do their best since the 2 years are inescapable. You can't change the 2 years fact but you can change yourself. You can choose to embrace the challenges and become a stronger individual, or avoid the challenges and live an easier life by dodging responsibilities. In my opinion many actually end up wasting their time in NS by sleeping or playing phone games hoping they their book outs and weekends can come faster. Don't count the number of days left but make the number of days left count. Do something productive like utilising the working environment to work on your interpersonal and communication skills, and the free time to work out and self-educate.
Anyway an interesting to note is that many break-ups occur during NS haha, especially when the guy serves NS while the girl enters uni. From my observation close to 90% of the couples break up during NS; pretty sad aye.
Okay tbh I became much more optimistic after NS which is a good thing. The harsh environment did me good. I don't think it is the same for everyone, but I am just thankful I got this experience :)
Check out this interesting post from LIFT about NS myths debunked :)
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