One Life: How I want to live it

I have decided to write this post because if I don't do it now, I would never will. A series of events have triggered me to write this post. And there are actually many topics i would really love to write about. But I have been pretty busy lately, hustling hard and making my life as meaningful as possible.

This post is going to be about the clarity of my life I have gained in these 3 months after NS. A short update is that I have been on trips to Malaysia, Korea and Bali in those months, and an upcoming trip to Bangkok in May. The rest of this post is all my honest thoughts and opinions, and if you are reading, I hope it impacts you in one way or another :)

A wake-up call

So just very recently, a female JC junior whom we follow each other on insta passed away due to a tragic car accident. She got killed while 3 other NUS students suffered serious injuries. This incident really triggered my thoughts and emotions about my life; it was a scary wake-up call of how fragile life can be, and even how unfair it can seem. A young, kind, capatable19 years old single-child who has bright future ahead of her got taken away from the world in a blink of an eye, and that instant I felt it could happen to me too. I did read about articles before about near deaths and how it changed their life's perspectives, but it never felt this real. What cringed me even more was she only just recently before her passing wrote for an assignment of the feelings and thoughts she would have in her own funeral if left that world at that time.

Death is something we think that only happens as we age many many years older, and we often take the life we have now for granted. It made me more strongly feel that I have this one life and I should not live a life of regrets. I should be grateful that I am able to live, even normally, every single day and cherish this one chance I have. I am genuinely thankful to be able to be a human in this world.

There are friends who rather be born as other animals due to to the various sufferings they perceive as a human. However, such complaints, negativity and dwellings will not change a single thing, and will only serve to make your life much less meaningful. Do you know how many other people are in a much worse state than you in other parts of the world? If you think that you have a lot of problems in your life, just think about how someone who wants to live un-deservingly got her life taken away from her - is that problem big enough (for that person)?

I thought to myself: If I leave the world now, would i have regrets? I would say yes. Because I have so much more I want to achieve, so much more I want to impact people around me, so much more i want to do for the world. So I told myself, there should never be a day i live a life i will regret. And at least if i pass away, I will leave peacefully, knowing well myself that I have done whatever I needed and wanted, and tried my best to live a fulfilling life i want.

I have actually thought of my own eulogy; what people would say about me at my funeral if i leave the world, and wrote them down, That was during NS when I was reading a book called 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and was at the topic of 'Beginning with the end in mind'. It suggested that simple exercise to really trigger my right brain and truly think what kind of life i want to lead. I figured what i would want people to say about me, and what is my kind of  fulfilling life

Purpose and meaning of life

There is this quote by Picasso which i sincerely believe: "The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose if your life is to give it away". What this means is you have to consciously try different things to know what your strengths are, and with your strength in whichever area (like writing, educating/motivating, kindness), you contribute to society and the world with that talent you have.

For me personally, I have reflected hard about my entire life and thought what is really my meaning and purpose, what will truly be a fulfilling life for me, and what kind of life excites me. And I have realised, I greatly enjoy improving and impacting people's lives emotionally and in terms of personal development. I want people to remember me for not of what I did or I said, but of how i made them feel. I have carefully thought out of my strengths and hopefully am right. I know i am not a highly intelligent being. I know that if i worked hard for my entire life for someone's else dream, and not mine, I know i will definitely regret life.

Months ago I figured I had to achieve financial freedom to do whatever I want. However if the sole purpose of doing whatever I want is just to make myself happy, I don't think I would measure that as true success and happiness. Ultimately, we can die and leave the world; but to live forever, we leave a legacy and impact in people's lives and generations to come.

I know it was a huge step for me to gain this enlightenment. This may seem all airy and fairy. But in the end, I genuinely feel that is the meaning and fulfilment in my life i would desire.

However, to be able to even help others, I have to help myself first. If I am financially unstable, there is only so much impact I can have on people around me, because according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, there physiology and safety needs have to always be met first, before accomplishing self-actualisation/self-fulfilment needs.

Many people haven't realise that the amount of money that are given to you/earned, reflects the amount of value you have contributed to the world. To create wealth is to create value for people. You can contribute to a society by working as an accountant in  helping to analyse accounting information which eventually help a company function and do its job of providing value to the world. That is your role and contribution as an accountant, albeit pretty indirect in terms of to society. Of course that is plainly from your job itself, and not you as a person.

It has dawned on me that I want to achieve something greater in life. I believe that if someone who started from the bottom and is able to rise and become an influential wealthy figure who impacts the world, I don't see why am i not able to do so, especially starting as average and in this wonderful era of modernisation. I am super blessed to be able to live in this century. I have this one life to lead, and I want to make it great in my terms, because I believe I can, and I will.

As a result of this clarity in the direction of my life, people close to me would know I am not messing around, and no one should try to stop me. Initially my plan in university was to have lots and lots of fun, because I only live young once, and I have been dedicating my entire past school life a lot into academics, and hence missed out on opportunities of social life as well as relationships. However, I am clear now that yes i will have my piece of fun in university, but not too much unnecessary fun. Ultimately I want to gain a head start through uni. Everything I do should have a purpose. If I want to play, I play hard. If I want to work, I hustle hard for myself and goals, and work smart with passion. And I want to practise mindfulness starting from now onwards.

This head start is very important to me because I may not live well past 30; anything can happen. And I know that if I want to live a life unlike just everyone else, I need to work unlike anyone else. Dreams have a price to pay. Stifling your ambitions and dreams have a price to pay too. And dreams don't work unless you do.

So what have been involving myself so far?

I have been doing various sales jobs where i hustle to the streets and approach random strangers, and dealing with countless of rejections. Rejections are indeed very scary. And uncomfortable. I knew I have to master the art of dealing with rejections if I want to be successful, as proven by the blueprints of many successful figures. I wanted to improve my communication and persuasion skills. The money earned can be as little as $2/h, and can make you hit a new low of self-doubt and uncertainty. At the end of the day, I would say I felt it made me grow as a person, and I have no regrets :)

I have also been trying earn money through teaching tuition and going event jobs, so that I can fund my everyday life and overseas trips, and driving lessons. I work out thrice a week, and been going weekly frisbee trainings, because that's where I feel most at ease and where my interests lie. I have been to business and personal development talks to enrich myself and my mind. I have also been busy studying and taking financial advisory exams, a field I am exploring now.

The last hustle which not many people know is I am working on creating a watch brand with a friend in these months, to start out in this entrepreneurship journey and experience, and more than that, with a vision to create a movement of people taking action and live a life in their own terms, with purpose and meaning. It is not going to be easy, and it has never been easy. I faltered many times. But I know that I have to fail early, fail often and fail forward.

Lastly, I just want to share how the values of empathy and gratitude have tide me through life, and improved the life of myself immensely as well as for my family. Conversations with them have become different. I count my blessings everyday. And as hard as it is to internalise, gratitude is the core of happiness. I sincerely hope my friends will learn to be more grateful, and live a more meaningful life :)

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My NS Experience

The time has finally come to ORD, and I have long awaited for this moment, which feels surreal. I have always wanted to pen down my reflections of my whole experience and document my learnings over the 2 years. I am actually grateful for my entire pathway in NS - from a xiong BMT coy to gaining entry to the most welfare OCS training wing to a vocation of my choice and finally an appointment that I'm most suited for (and of course being the reserve). To me this is the best I can get because I was able to meet many wonderful people in service and pro term, use some brain in my vocation, do a lot a lot of PT with my battery everyday, and I did not have to fight ATEC. Although I did not get to stay out like some other officers or have a very fun culture in my unit, I still feel my perspective allow me to appreciate my journey more and I definitely had no regrets going through what I have been through. 

Invaluable friendships

The best takeaway from NS is definitely the people I met who positively influenced my thoughts and actions towards a better direction. There were solid leaders I could learn leadership skills from. 

One of the most respectable guy I met is actually Moses who was a president scholar and came back to complete OCS after his masters. His EQ, wisdom and maturity really gave me a lot of perspectives and insights into handling things in life. A truly genuine person who will go very far in life. Fun fact I'm going to his wedding next month haha. 

Then there are many others too who introduced to me entrepreneurship and investing, and got me interested into pursuing them. I am actually blessed to have such people like Richmond, Linus, Kar Aik, Shawn and a few others who inspired me to a clearer direction in life. Initially I was actually quite lost after commissioning, and I really wanted to do something meaningful. Conversations with such people naturally would draw me into similar things. I first started out reading self help books and along the way my focus changed, from personal development to investing to workout and nutrition to crypto and finally to entrepreneurship. These 6 months allowed me to discover myself more and explore many things. Richmond's drive and hustle during his adversities clearly inspired me to dream bigger and pursue similar things, and I truly respect how he rose from his circumstances. Linus who always annoy me in the past is also a close bro I made; as well as Kar Aik whom I got closer to towards the end after discovering similar interests and mindsets. 

Of course there were fun friends like Haesan who stays near me and always give me a lift, and Boo Zon my favourite gym buddy, and we 3 along with Richmond are going to NUS Business together (yay). 

Discovering meaning

It is no doubt NS has given me a wonderful opportunity to discovering my purpose and meaning in life. Being put into a working environment before entering uni gave me a greater clarity as to what I want to pursue in life. We were able to change our courses 3 times before entering uni, unlike the girls who just had to pursue what they feel they would like to do in the future as a career, where most were not very clear on what they actually want to really pursue in the future. 

NS has taught me that working with people in the office is not easy, together with the politics, and further reaffirms my desire to not work for anyone who has a 'control' of my life in the future. These 2 'gap years' allowed me to try explore different interests with no repercussions. After working hours the time is entirely mine and I could do whatever I want unlike school where you have to be concerned with your homework. Like the corporate working life, this is essentially similar where if you dread work and always look forward to after-office hours and weekends, you will essentially be finding ways to relax and have fun, or to relieve stress. 

We were able to experience receiving monthly pay checks and handling our own finances. Like most of the working population, I spent my money on 'good food' after work and on entertainment over the weekends. Drinking or clubbing became close to a weekly affair since OCS days. I then realised that money should not be spent this way and in the future if I act this way, I would just be like any other adult stuck in the rat race trying to pay off debts for my whole life. I would be living life aimlessly.  And thus, it got me into pursing financial knowledge, reading books like Rich Dad Poor Dad (a highly recommended 1st book to read) and Fastlane to Millionaire which gave me hugely different perspectives towards life. Schools actually never taught us how to handle our money, but only work for money, when in our entire life we are actually handling money. That, to me, is super scary. It made me yearn for knowledge of making money work for me instead. 

Hence, nearing to my ORD, I gained enlightenment on what I wanted to pursue in life, after attending a course and speaking to an interviewer. I knew I wanted financial freedom - to freely do whatever I want, like travelling, reading, talking to people, writing, working out, photography, making videos, Ultimate Frisbee, helping people etc - which essentially means I have to remove money from the equation in my life as early as possible so money will no longer be a restricting or worrying factor for me. In essence, I want to be able to do what I am passionate about, and whatever work that is won't then be 'work' to me. 

“You'll never achieve real success unless you like what you're doing.” 

Discovering my weaknesses

I knew I had many weaknesses to work on. And I was actually thankful that I got to be the Cadet Course Commander (albeit too long, for like 3 months+ -.-) to learn about my greatest flaws in leading people as well as communication skills. I had no guidance as to what is the right way to lead, and I had to reflect and discover myself what would work better and what don't. 

As a commissioned officer, shit got real. Gone were days where mistakes were just mistakes to be scolded for. One mistake and you sign 7 extra duties minimally, no matter how 'small' it is. Yes donning the black bar grants you more privilege and authority, but that comes heavy responsibilities too. In the unit life, it is not like BMT where the black bars are the gods. Respect is not granted but earned. There politics you have to deal with too. Being a 1 bar NSF officer can be the worst, as you have to manage and give in to the sergeants and man under you, but also deal with the expectations and management of the regulars. It is a struggle to make ends meet, with both ends having different expectations. In the eyes of NSFs, 'we are just NSFs'. To the regulars, 'we are just NSFs' too. Both which we are not taught so in training school. 

I had problems working with people under me initially, as my way of doing things were deemed too authoritative and lacking empathy. It was inherent in me that I tend to be that way, and being handicapped by slow learning ability made things worst. I was determined to improve myself and the relationships around me. I began with reading the book "How to win friends and influence people", which was mind-blowing. I learned so much about dealing with people, and realised how I have always been doing wrong the whole time. I would say my efforts paid off in the end as things improved. I have truly learnt that respect is not commanded but earned. People-management, communication and interpersonal skills are definitely one of the key takeaways in NS. 

There were also times of moral and ethical dilemma, where the lines between doing what is right and what is popular gets blurred. It was so was easy to do the wrong things in NS when many are doing it too, where such are condoned but still being done, as long as 'don't get caught'. It definitely was challenging, and it all boils down to being grounded by your principles and accepting whatever ramifications after based on the decisions you make. 

There was a period where I was nearly destroyed. I was devastated. I felt unjust in the punishments meted out. I was one of the most down period in my NS. I felt incompetent, and lousy. I did not know what did I do to deserve that. It made me learn to accept these as challenges in life. In your work life, you also wouldn't be able to choose who you work with or work for. Facing with such in NS made me appreciate the opportunity to deal with this earlier and hence become stronger. I learnt that little mistakes can be 'costly', and that sometimes you just have to suck it up. With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from going; you get to choose. Thus, I was actually grateful that I got punished. Because I was pushed out of my comfort zone. I grew. I learnt to be optimistic in trying times. Making such mistakes now would only lead to punishments right? But in the outside world, I would probably 'get fired' (I quote someone), right? I learnt how to talk to superiors and subordinates. I became more confident. These episodes have taught me to practise empathy and gratitude (inspired by Gary V), and I have been a happier person since. 

“It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” 

Sign on? 

As much as army pays very well with full scholarships provided, giving you a very financially secure life in the future whilst 'not having to do much', I still would not sign on. My brother was initially close to signing on in the end cancelled his contract, which I only could understand why after having went through NS. 

I feel that army would not be a suitable environment for me to shine and reach my full potential, and it is just not for me. I truly admire those who are passionate in what they do, but it is not that often seen in the army. As much as people who are not passionate in their jobs and are in it just for the money are also present in the corporate world, these people are usually not bounded by contract and can be fired anytime, hence having their livelihood at greater stake. I believe I would do and grow better outside in an environment where they encourage creativity instead of stifling it, and are more forgiving and understanding rather than rigidly imposing and authoritatively demanding. I do understand the rationale of the way the army do things, like having to rule by fear and punishments in order to get people to obey orders; because in time of war, there people under command should obey and fight together as one regardless of how good or bad the decision made was perceived as. 

I firmly believed that learning is in the doing, and it is only from mistakes and failures do we actually learn and grow. However at times punishments will in turn stunt the growth and creativity of people out of fear. Being a slow learner would inevitably mean I would make many mistakes at the start, and to prevent that I would need proper guidance, which more often that not, is not given. Punishment is always the easiest option in correcting things but I feel its the worst way to go about doing things without mutual empathy and reasonable understanding. Hence I do not believe in punishing someone for their mistakes, and instead we should seek to understand and offer encouragements for the betterment of the individual. An exception would be that after numerous times of trying, it might be too tiring to even bother offering so much empathy, and hence a punishment would warrant a correction of attitude. This however would still not solve the root problem. 

“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” 

One of my greatest pet peeves is inefficiency, and it is a well known fact that army can be inefficient. This is due to having to obey the chain of command and for various safety and security reasons to prevent mishaps - which is understandable. Rank triumphs intelligence in any army and thus as long as you have a lower rank, you have to give in and listen to the higher ups, and work with people of all sorts of competence. Hence I would not be able to stand the working environment of such, personally, in my opinion. 

All in all

It all comes down to you on how much you want to make out of the 2 years. Personally I believe everyone should just take a shot and do their best since the 2 years are inescapable. You can't change the 2 years fact but you can change yourself. You can choose to embrace the challenges and become a stronger individual, or avoid the challenges and live an easier life by dodging responsibilities. In my opinion many actually end up wasting their time in NS by sleeping or playing phone games hoping they their book outs and weekends can come faster. Don't count the number of days left but make the number of days left count. Do something productive like utilising the working environment to work on your interpersonal and communication skills, and the free time to work out and self-educate. 

Anyway an interesting to note is that many break-ups occur during NS haha, especially when the guy serves NS while the girl enters uni. From my observation close to 90% of the couples break up during  NS; pretty sad aye. 

Okay tbh I became much more optimistic after NS which is a good thing. The harsh environment did me good. I don't think it is the same for everyone, but I am just thankful I got this experience :) 

Check out this interesting post from LIFT about NS myths debunked :)

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My Cutting (and bulking) Progress in NS

It has been pretty long since I have posted on my blog, with the most recent post being more than a year back (damn). I've always been wanting to update my blog but couldn't find the time nor a strong enough reason to - thus been using Instagram to jot down my mini events and thoughts throughout NS. Now that I'm going to ORD in less than 2 months time, and life is already pretty lull, I figure that I should relive this blog. More importantly, the post today is to document and share my fitness journey in NS, particularly after commissioning as an officer, and more specifically since July-August where I had more time to workout consistently with a clearer aim in mind. This is a milestone for, me as I have never actually been so serious in this cutting phase - with an attempt towards a leaner/shredded physique and six packs.

My past

Left: 73kg | Right: 62kg. 

Back in JC in those 1.5 years, I did cut too, but it was more of a simultaneous cut and bulk at the same time, possible cos of newbie gains. The physique I had back then was more of a lean one rather than muscular, weighing at 62kg at my lowest (after O levels I was 75kg LOL ). After A levels, after putting on some weight and losing some muscle mass, I attempted to get back my shape and in BMT I got lean again. But after going into OCS, that's when my progress stagnated and declined, and I had no time to gym consistently, for more than a year.

Bulking and cutting journey begins 
Thus fast forward to the phase of an officer: I had more privilege, time and autonomy. Around July-August, after the major outfields and conducts, I could focus more on bodybuilding, with a more specific difference this time - nutrition and diet. I lean bulked for about 2 months - with my diet pretty much remaining uncontrolled but just an attempt of increasing my protein intake. I was weighing around 70kg at my highest. Somewhere in August, I told myself I wanted to cut, and thus tried to eat less carbs and more cleanly. For a month or so, there wasn't any progress in fat loss and my weight remained at 70kg. I figured I was actually still lean bulking. It was actually rather disappointing as I was telling everyone around me I was cutting so I would refuse eating unhealthily particularly fast food. So somewhere in September, I knew I had to do something different  and started becoming more serious by tracking my marcronutrients and calories with Myfitnesspal app. My daily calories goal is 1800 kcal - 500kcal less than my daily maintenance calories requirement.

Cutting in NS, possible? 

Tracking my macros
It was no easy feat to track all the macros in my meals accurately, because I do not know the exact weight of my food, what other ingredients are in the dishes, amount of oil or cooking method. The macros breakdown of every meal calculated and displayed at the cookhouse did not help at all and it was grossly overestimated, which lunch ranging between 1000kcal - 1300 kcal, which takes up 70% of my daily calories goal in single sitting LOL. Thus, I resorted to keying in individually every dish with an guesstimate of the weight and selected from the options in the app the one which I feel is the more accurate one. All these numbers do not actually portray anywhere close to the true count, but the tracking itself was a way for me to be able to get a sensing and figure out the amount of calories I'm putting into my mouth - which allowed me to make better food choices. The calories making up the total calories count from my carbohydrates and protein is 35% and for fats is 30% (I researched the best percentage for this to suit my body type and goals in cutting).

Diet and Nutrition

I can't emphasise the importance of nutrition. Like keeping all constant like the amount of working out etc, nutrition alone can be the determining factor on whether you are losing fat, losing muscle, both or gaining muscle.

Order of Importance for Nutrition

My meals mainly comprise of cookhouse food for lunch and then for dinner it will be normal outside food with a conscious choice of incorporating more protein into the meal. Cookhouse lunch is great cos I can request for more meat most of the time, and eat less carbs. I also replaced sugary cordial drinks with milk tea (and then black coffee in the last 2 weeks) and ate more veggies. I was aiming about 150g of protein a day. On days I workout I consume more carbs and less fat while on rest days I consume more fats and less carbs; I followed dyeven's macros profile strategy which made sense to me. It is actually pretty hard to get enough protein in camp, and I can't just solely rely on protein shakes all the time.

Protein sources

So I started bringing in eggs and canned tuna (inspired by one of the junior officers bunking opposite me LOL). I eat 2 whole eggs and 1 egg white everyday for breakfast, along with bread and natural peanut butter initially and slowly moved on to instant oats mixed with whey, peanut butter and sometimes almonds. These food and the fats in the food keeps me satiated for long and I have no cravings or hunger pangs (wholemeal food do the job too btw). Heathy fat sources to help you lose fat will be nuts, egg yolks, avocadoes, peanut butter and salmon which provide the healthy monounsaturated fats. Yoghurt apparently helps you to lose weight according to research. All these knowledge is from an ebook my friend sent me called The Abs Diet, which really changed my perspectives and improved my eating choices, based on the reasoning and research given. Anyway, I purchased meal replacement bars in hope of replacing my dinner but I only did it a few times and I still have a lot left. As much as possible, I avoid fast food and also fried food, so for dinner after gym I would eat stuff'D kebab which really keeps me full and has pretty good macros.

I tried to cook my own meal when I had offs and it was really way cheaper and easier to fulfil my macros. Like 300g of chicken breast with 90g of protein worth from supermarket can cost only $2.50 and it is super easy to cook with simple ingredients. I would couple it with broccoli/sweet potatoes and eggs - this can feed up to 3 meals! 4 times cheaper than outside since cooked protein outside is really damn expensive.

At the start of (failed) cutting, I tried intermittent fasting. It is actually a tried and tested way of eating that works for many according to articles and youtube videos. Basically you have an 8h eating window and 16h fasting window where you can only consume calorie-free liquids. For me the problem was I get hungry around 11am cos I wake up at 7am for PT. Then during the eating window I have a tendency to eat a lot of also a tad more unhealthily to satisfy my cravings. It is difficult for me mainly cos I can't fit many meals into the eating window from 12pm to 8pm esp since I would be in office, and I usually have my dinner only after 9pm on days I work out at night. Thus, intermittent fasting is not really for me cos I don't make my own food and I actually like to eat and snack, so I stuck to 4 meals a day (ideally 6 small meals throughout the day) to meet my macros through the additional breakfast slot.

Supplements
Since I'm in the cutting phase where muscle breakdown tend to occur and you might lose your muscle, I take BCAA pills to prevent that, which also helps to reduce soreness and I can push more for my workout.

Caloric deficit also caused me to have low energy levels most of the days, so I drink Pre workout which contains caffeine, some BCAAs and creatine, and other stuffs which all will help me to be more pumped for the workout and give the extra focus and push during workout, This would also maximise my gym time where I gym about 1.5h usually.

I also take Creatine daily (except weekends cos lazy, but should be 5g/day) to help increase my strength during workout through release of more ATP, so I can lift more during workouts - more strength = more gains. It is 1 one of the most heavily researched supplement btw, and the price I bought at is like only 10 cents/serving - dirt cheap!

Not forgetting my whey- I take Myprotein Diet Whey (sorry no discount code) (actually have if you buy first time hahah) and I take about 35-40g on days I workout. Convenient source of protein especially in camp.

Lastly, I also take daily Multivitamins, which helps me improve my overall mental and physical health and well-being, and aid in bodily processes and functions which are pretty essential in bodybuilding.

My Workout Regime

My workout mainly focuses on strength through heavy low reps (4-6) and compound exercises. Strength training helps to build muscles during bulking and maintain muscle during cutting, and they target more muscle fibres compared to hypertrophy which is attained through higher rep ranges (8-12) Compound exercises are damn good overall body strength builders and also help to increase metabolism rate - examples are deadlift, squats, bench press and military barbell press - all which I incorporate in my workouts.

It is however important to tackle all rep ranges, so based on my research I'm following this regime, where for example like chest, my typical workout would be Inclined and flat bench press @ 4-6 reps, cable flys @ 6-8 reps and then dips @ 8-10 reps for chest day. Low reps are especially useful for compound movement, which I begin with for every workout.

Legs are not really my priority but I do squats, deadlifts and machine leg presses to train them.

As for cardio, I do fasted cardio-  5km morning runs on Mondays and Fridays in camp as they are compulsory for all, and HIIT Circuit Training on Wednesdays. Tuesday mornings I will do Tabata with the people in camp mainly focusing on abs. I incorporate abs workouts in my supersets or right after my workouts, whenever I can. On days or weeks when I can't cardio due to duties, I either eat less or do a short cardio by cycling in the gym after workout for 10min.

Tracking My Progress
Ever since I have gotten more serious, I brought a weighing scale to camp to track my weight loss. I would weigh myself some mornings when I first wake to track my progress. To do it effectively, you are supposed to weigh yourself every morning when you first wake up (or any other same time of everyday) and then take the average at the end of the week, because your weight can actually fluctuate up and down up to 1.5kg - the number you see comprise of many other weight like water mass or wastes and other stuffs. A good progress would be losing 1 pound a week. My progress wasn't that good - 4kg+ over 12 weeks.

I also use visuals by taking pictures of myself in the same place and lighting every week to track my shred progress - it really helped me see the improvement and motivated me to continue the grind everyday and made me loo forward for more results.

Lastly, I bought a fat % measuring calliper for $3 to track my body fat percentage. It is more of like a gauge for me, and I know it not accurate fat % reflected. So I use it now more like to make sure I don't put on too much fats when I bulk; aim is to maintain same fat %. I think this would be useful cos it is damn hard to see the fat % through pictures or weight alone cos you can't exclude account muscle gains.

Challenges 
One of the greatest challenges is discipline - to stay true to your diet and not give in to the temptations of the delectable delights and snacks, as well as working out and doing your fair share of cardio. In eating out, I would suggest healthier food places with my friends, at WHEAT, subway, or salad places. Of course I have 1-2 cheat meals every week, and in fact, in most of the period of my cut, I drink alcohol almost every week LOL . At 1 point I also ate like 2 fattening chocolates from Australia my bunk mate bought everyday cos it was on the table and it was super tempting - so bear in mind to create the most conducive environment for yourself to cut.  As such not achieving a low enough body fat % and super visible six packs were expected haha. So I would advise that you ease into clean eating slowly, and do your research on what suits you and your lifestyle most easily in this cutting phase. Allowing yourself to have cheat meals is important in resetting your metabolism (fat loss mechanism) and making sure you are still sane with your food.

Another major challenge is patience in the grind - to achieve the results. There was a period where 3-4 weeks I compared progress pics and still noticed no difference, and my weight did not change significantly (cos I actually didn't do the weekly average thing but just taking a rough mental average). I really need to emphasise that results happen over time and NOT overnight. Work hard (and smart), stay consistent and be patient. You got to fall in love with the process and the results will come. Having a group of friends to gym with will really help. Positive vibes.

Lastly, working smart is not easy. This is actually an experimental phase. I was never a bodybuilding expert. All the knowledge was obtained through research, videos, Instagram pages and trial and error. Consistently adjusting and calibrating the training to optimise results are what will bring you closer to your goals. Platueus in weight loss and strength gains can happen. Bodybuilding itself is as broad and in-depth specialisation as like any sport like basketball, or photography - there's so much to learn to master the art of it, and it is up to you about how serious you are about your gains. Of course, to accelerate your progress you can engage in a personal trainer. But ultimately, your focus should never be in the routine but the hustle to better, to improve, and to emerge stronger. And how? Through seeking more knowledge, applying, correcting the mistakes, and  rinsing and repeating what works.

A Fulfilling Journey 

I really learnt and discovering a lot about myself through this journey. I learnt the grind, the patience and the hard work - are all essential in achieving anything you want in life. Dreams don't work unless you do, and thus the first step is to get STARTED and take action. Many a times people give up too early or easily, as they are eager to see results quickly. We need to be optimistic about the journey, and be disciplined enough to consistently have faith and put in the hard work. Good things don't come easy; and if it is easy, every one would have gotten it, and no one would have wanted it so hard.

You got to do what you got to do - to get what you want. Whether it is having to sacrifice your rest time, or nights out, to hit the gym, even alone, or to sacrifice your frequent eating of 'good food', you know what you will do based on how badly you want to achieve those goals. It is all in the state of mind tbh. Need to curb those cravings? Just remember: A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the lips (credits to Khoo Teck Phuat hospital).

Part of me want to embark this journey due to wanting to achieve what most people can't, and to prove to myself and others that I can do it, through hard work and dedication, and then inspire people to take action too with my results - something I actually enjoy doing; to give advice to people wherever possible, so that people don't make the same mistakes I did, and work smarter. Of course, this would not have been possible if I don't love the process; I actually enjoy working out somehow, and feeling good after, more energised and pumped up than ever.

I also ate more healthily, and understood that someone possessing a lean muscular physique, definitely needs to have healthy eating habits and lifestyle - a key factor in longevity too. I felt better about myself and loved myself more.

At the end of the day, what works for me may not work for you, and you have to go find, trial and tested the best suited method for yourself to effectively reach your goals, cos everyone is different. I have friends asking me what is my diet, or workout - but ultimately, there's no one size fits all method. Not everyone can or is willing to do what I do based on different lifestyles and preferences. Now I'm onto the next phase of bulking for perhaps till May before I do a cut again, so that I can gain as much lean muscle mass as possible and see how far I can go.
If you have any questions, feel free to PM me and I will gladly answer and help you out when I'm free :) Hope this post is informative and helpful! Comments and feedback will very much be appreciated and maybe if responses are great, I will share my journey and learnings more on my blog or insta :-)

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Embarking into Officer Cadet School

Tomorrow is the day I report into OCS, after 2 weeks of block leave. TBH, I was initially feeling very unready, as I was sick and feeling unwell cos of my stomach ache and diarrhea, and my chest infection is not helping. I am already totally adjusted to civilian life, and now I'm about to adjust again into an OCT for 2 weeks. But after watching some videos on YouTube about the making of an officer, I felt more motivated and purposeful. I will remind myself that I am here in OCS for a reason and not by chance. I will make it count.

I'm going to share my reasons why I wanted to go OCS. Of course, like many others, I questioned myself whether it would be worth it. Whether 9 months of hell is worth the rank. Thru BMT, I realise my mental resilience has to be worked on. One of the key reasons I probably want to go OCS is because my bro has been thru it, and he just ORD few weeks ago, and if he can do it, I felt I could do it too. I wanna do my family proud like how he did, and display my sword next to his.
Another key reason is I want to develop myself. This course will teach me to be a better leader, and throughout my education I have taken various roles of leadership. I actually feel that being a leader is my thing, and I want to do it well.
I want to be stronger, and hopefully OCS will help me through it.
There are also other reasons like higher pay, holding a higher authority, being mainly involved in planning (which I prefer), the exclusive social night, and value you bring to yourself.

At the end of the day, I just hope I will do my best, and do well, and improve myself continuously. All these are my sincere words. I want to say now that, I am ready - to lead, to excel, to overcome.

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3 Most Valuable Lessons in BMT

The first most valuable lesson I have learnt in BMT is leadership - how to lead a group of men, where some may be hard-headed. I was given a chance to be the platoon IC and during my short stint as an IC, I have learnt that to lead is easy, but to lead effectively is a challenging task. I have learnt that as a leader, you have to be an exemplary role model, and that means doing things consistent to your principles and values. It also means taking up more responsibilities and not an opportunity to slacken off. Leadership becomes challenging when people are at their worst ends, and do not cooperate with you, and that is when you need to convey your messages and intentions effectively and empathise with the lot. Leading is also not just getting things done, but also motivating men under you to push themselves to the best of their abilities, and not give up in times of hardship. In BMT, we are all guys and in this environment, people may try to overpower one another to rise as an alpha. Thus I have learnt that it is important to earn the respect of your men before you are able to lead them effectively. It is also essential that we do our best to know our stuffs before men can  trust themselves to listen to us.

The second most valuable lesson that BMT has taught me is discipline. BMT is regimented and it is expected of us to maintain a high level of militiary disciple. Disobeying them will mean having to deal with the ramifications. Just as in the outside world, discipline is not easy to maintain as we tend to procrastinate and derail. BMT has taught me that we have to get things done even though we don't feel like it. I have learnt that discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most. Through little things like hand-washing our own clothes and ensuring high standards and cleanliness of our bunk, I have learnt to exercise self-discipline, which will translate to a better me in the outside world in dealing with any kind of responsibilities and getting down to them.

The thrid most valuable lesson I have learnt is the importance of giving. The cameraderie and brotherhood I have found in BMT have taught what selflessness is as I saw how my band of brothers sacrifice for each other. In times of need, we have to be there for each other, and encourage one another. It is indeed easy to slacken off and not bother, but it is important to always bear in mind that there are people around who needs you and your best.

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NS Field Camp Reflection

This is my reflection for my NS assignment and I thought it would be good to copy paste here so I see it in the future (did it on the NS tablet)

As most of us have watched Ah Boys to Men or have friends who been through field camp, we expected it to be the toughest part of BMT and prepared to toughen ourselves up for it. There are various ups and downs thoughout this camp.

One thing that didn't go well is the weather. It rained almost everyday but thankfully none over the night. I regretted not ziplocking my ziplocks properly which resulted in some items getting drenched - this was indeed an experience to be remembered, where I was flabbergasted upon seeing my field pack completely immersed in a pond of muddy water in my shell scrape. But to be honest I was pretty disappointed about only being able to sleep in my shellscrape for only a night as I found it cosy. There was frequent Cat 1 which disrupted our practices and activities, but these are moments I savour as I munched my snacks away and took short restful micro naps. Besides the torrential rain, there was the daily scorching sun burning down on us every afternoon, leading to a bunch of us suffering from heat injury. I had high temperatures almost daily as high as 38.6 deg C which made me feel fatigue and dizzy, but I never visited the medic as I wanted to participate in the IFC practices which i needed. Those times are indeed tough for me as I felt weak and struggled to keep up as much as I can. It was disappointing for me as I wanted to give my best and push myself. Another thing that didn't go as well was how our coy's movements were sloppy and a handful did not bother enough to express a sense of urgency. Everyone is indeed tired from the whole ordeal but we still had to meet timings. We also had an unfortunate incident of a platoon mate losing his rifle's magazine in the evening when it was pitch dark but we managed to find it after combing the forested areas systematically. If that was not enough, another of my section mate lost his magazine too during the battle course but managed to find by himself, saving the trouble of getting the whole platoon to search together.

Moving on to things that went well, I would say shellscrape digging was easier for us as it rained the day before and previous coy actually went there before. However it still wasn't easy to complete it and majority of us did not finish within the alloacted 3h. The individual field craft test also went pretty well for us as most of us passed it without doing a second attempt, despite having our practice time cut short due to lightning alert. It was also encouraging how each of us helped one another during hard times and carrying the jerry cans from point to point.
I feel that what we could have done better was moving faster from point to point as well as meeting the timings stated. We should also care more for each other as this is the hardest when everyone is shag and people become more self-centred. To go fast, we go alone; to go far, we go together. I also think we should work more on our resilience and don't give up easily especially when met with the tiniest hurdles during our hardest times.

I think my greastest takeway from field camp is knowing more about myself and my limits when i am faced with challenges which pushes me out of my comfort zone. Life only begins when we step out of our comfort zone and this cannot be denied as only when we challenge ourselves do we grow as a person and get stronger. I tend to panic easily when faced with a challenge and will not be able to stay calm, thus affecting my ability to carry out that task. Thus, I need to work on my composure. I need to improve my mental endurance too as I tend to fumble when I feel weak from heat injury or physical exhaustion. This field camp has gave me much discomfort in many ways but I am thankful for that as they made me stronger. Yes those times are tough, but tough times don't last; tough people do.

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My ACJC Experience (Part 2)

Education
So here comes the important question: How is the education like in ACJC? After all, it is one of the most important aspects when it comes to choosing a JC right? As widely known, its niche is in arts as compared to science.

Based on my experience, the chemistry, math, econs and GP department are all good, but that does not equate to good teachers. For me my econs and GP tutors really suck lol but surprisingly they are my best performing subjects most of the time. As for physics, based on forums and word-of-mouth, it is true that the department is not that good, but I got the best tutor in AC as she has 25 years of teaching experience and is the national physics olympiad coach.

To make it clearer, the resources given by the physics department are sufficient and sometimes pretty good. But unless it is my tutor lecturing for the lectures, the lectures are pretty bad to me as they don't really explain well enough when teaching. It is probably a vast difference from the tuition centres you go to.

What also annoys me is how almost all the departments accept GP give suggested solutions for A levels. For econs, I only got 2 years of TYS solutions from my tutor, screened in class, while for chem and physics, we are expected to follow the erroneous solutions from the publishers. After discovering how bad the physics solutions by shinglee were, my physics tutor screened to us her own solutions for some of the years but did not allow phototaking or whatsover. I mean why not be like HCJC or RJC where they give out standardised solutions for the whole cohort? As a result I ended up with like 3 or 4 physics solutions book from different publishers cos i couldn't trust any one completely.

My deepest regret in JC would be not getting any tuition, thinking I might be able to get As with my own effort and self-studying. My prime reason was that I did not want to burden my parents financially, and honestly, I thought I could do it, with just the help of external resources (if needed) and a little discipline.

But no. Every test just seems to prove me otherwise; I just wasn't smart enough. And it was only until the revision nearing A levels then I got the sudden realisation of how useful tuition can actually be, and lift you off the burdens you have during revision when you struggle to figure out a concept or your mistake. I would get chem tuition if I could turn back time because I just couldn't do well enough for an A. I mean, just think about investing in tuition for your 'A's and then with these grades, get a scholarship which will relieve you of the uni fees; an investment!

And if things just can't get any worse, I did not pass my MYE; I failed all my 3H2s. Worst is, I had the WHOLE JUNE to study for it! But actually no, I was involved in Ultimate Interjc in the first week and only had the last week to do some real revision after all the catching up and tutorials I had to do. I was really disappointed with my results, as it was my first time not making the passing mark.

But well, what really gave me a wake up call was when 2-3 weeks before A levels, my physics tutor was telling me that she thinks I can still get a B for A level physics. Like what even... I was aiming for an A sigh. And she was telling me how my other classmates are already finishing tons of revision papers while I have only done 1 or 2 which I used them to consult her. Then I knew, my A levels prep is screwed up.

If I had to sum up JC education, it is that it is really tough af. Juggling everything is a real struggle, and you got prioritise what you want. The academic rigour is not to be underestimated. A'level results are coming out this Friday, and I really don't know what to expect. I really wish I will be happy, and satisfied. Let all my efforts be paid off.

Memories
With that said, did I regret joining squash and ultimate which could have been a cause of such results? No. In fact, they are the best thing that happened to me in AC. And if I never I had joined them, I can't imagine how my life in AC would be like; I would totally dread school.

Ultimate. How do i even begin. The first thing that comes to my mind is FAMILY. The people there are ever so supportive, and everyone comes for trainings out of sheer passion. We travel 30 min every training to west coast park from school, train till lights out, train in rain and mud, train with our heart. ACJC Ultimate is not a CCA in ACJC, and it is just an interest group. Now, the school wants us to change our club's name so that we wont misrepresent them. But our heart will always remain the same, as one.

Due to my cca commitments and the A div season in 2015, I missed a lot of ultimate trainings. I returned after season and trained for IJC in June. It was an intense fight and competition. Attaining the 4th place, we had our fair share of regrets on the field. I could still vividly remember how some of us teared during our debrief, including myself; it was truly a moment where I felt thankful to be part of this amazing team with wonderful memories shared, and I hope our juniors will continue to fight hard and return stronger.

Squash is a sport I thoroughly enjoy, and I was glad I was given opportunity to take up this sport, and even a chance to be a captain for my team. We trained really hard and trainings and the PTs are always intense, draining my energy and leaving little for school work. Alas, we got a 5th place, the plates champion, breaking the record of being in the top 4 constantly for the past 9 years ever since we started.

Even though the team wasn't exactly the most bonded CCA, I met great juniors, had an awesome coach which made me enjoy trainings, and even made a close bro there :) And of course, the squash girls too. Although we only became closer after our cca season, I'm glad at least we did. Special mention of celery who is the pillar of this group HAHA.

One of my best memories in AC is from CCAAB camp in nov 2014, which is a camp for leaders from ccas and houses to prepare for the upcoming leadership in the year ahead in J2. There are several elements in the camp similar to what occurs in NS, such as the changing parade. But it is definitely an experience unforgettable.

All the moments in the 3D2N camp felt surreal - how we encouraged each other and worked as a team, and the insightful inputs by all leaders alike. I learnt a lot as a leader from this camp. We even bought our own shirt which says Franklin in the front! For this, I'm thankful for AC too.

Funorama is also one of the most fun event which happens bi-annually in AC! Can you believe we actually made 700K+ from that fun fair? All the efforts put into raising funds for our fun fair when we were selling food and all sorts in school were interesting as people ooze out every creativity they have. We sold ramly burgers and managed a game stall as a class. Every class had to manage a food and game stall each and it really wracked our brains at the start for ideas! Anyway this year I'm coming back to funorma not as a stall runner but as a participant! On 2nd April! Do come down!!

Green Arrow /who lives in a shit. We all really have come a long way, dated all the way back to OG days. Fortunate to have met y'all, having someone to turn to in these tough 2 years. Hope our outing to USS will come true one day aha.

And also, BBB. Darren and Aaron are also in this clique but we don't have a full strength photo. Somehow expanded when nearing A levels LOL but yes lots of fun times with them, and certainly in the future too :)

Lastly, 2SB2. Spent 2 years with them studying for the most dreaded A levels. It was a fun class tbh, with a diverse mix of people from different backgrounds. Sad to say, I wasn't bonded to the class, probably due to my overbearing nature of  'work before play', where I prioritise studies a lot, and often chose academics over social interactions. One thing I realise is, once the period to get close to the people around you is over, you have missed it and you can never get it back. There is always this window period where strangers and even just friends go through interactions to determine the social group dynamics and cliques form. Being a 'thinker' person rather than 'feeling' person, I can neglect relationships. But nevertheless, I still made 1 or 2 close friends from my class :)
"Your Commander personality can sometimes leave you feeling lost and alone. Relationships with friends, colleagues and partners can be tricky to maintain, despite your good intentions. But when you do make a connection, it’s usually a strong, rewarding bond." 
This extract from my personality page is rather apt and it explains all that has occurred.

Discovering myself
At the start of JC, we were made to do the MBTI personality test to help group ourselves for PW. We were somehow only given our profiles at the start of J2. After reading mine, I was rather amazed by its accuracy, but did not pursue further.

Later into the year, celine talked about how true her personality is and that intrigued me to read up about mine online again. I was taken aback that more than 90% of what is said about me is accurate. It all makes sense to me. About my nature. About how I have been acting.

I'm a rather insensitive person, and from then onwards I realise how I always have the urge to make insensitive remarks out of fun. But knowing myself better has given me a chance to work on this flaw and be more conscientious. I was really immersed in knowing myself deeper. But all is too late to change anything as it is already approaching the end of year for us all.

One thing which annoys me most, and was pointed out explicitly, is inefficiency. Not talking about small stuffs, but big stuffs like academics. Like I began to realise how I often curse in GP and econs lesson, lamenting about the tutors' incapability at teaching and explaining.

Anyway it felt really good to know your friends' personality too and then read it up to realise they match too. Idk why but I always analyse people and things. But the year of 2015 is definitely a different year for me, as I try to figure out who I am, and my self-identity, and what has attributed to what has occurred in the past years dated back till secondary school days. I had a lot to think.

Final words
Pretty long post isn't it? Damn, it is already 2am. Probably spent more than 4h on these 2 posts alone. To sum it up, ACJC definitely has left me pleasant memories. It has lived up to its name of being a party school, as seen by how ACSians always frequent night clubs. Sad to say 2014 was the last year they allowed birthday bash, where they banned it after a guy was tied to the huge ass pillar near CPA and got egged and floured LOL. But it was all in the name of fun but some discipline teacher saw it and classified as bullying lmao. Oh I forgot to mention we have a pretty good looking principal too ;) I always enjoy singing the national anthem in J1 where my class sat near the stage HAHA.

One of the wisest words from her which etched my mind are: You are special, but not that special. It just means everyone is different and unique, and we shouldn't strive to be like others; we should just be the best versions of ourselves. Every single one of us has our own talent and speciality, and has our own role to play in society; we don't need to be the smartest or prettiest. Learn to love yourself before you love others.

P.S. If you would like to read a good blog post about HCJC life from my sec school senior which went viral, you can view it here

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